I don't like to do it personally. My 80's action stars that I grew up watching were never vulnerable as they would single-handedly take on the Vietcong or a small Caribbean island of baddies. My vulnerability is also not my story as to how I want to gain attention or look for social value. Why did I do it?
I wrote a couple articles for another website (https://wodstar.com/articles/overcoming-depression-with-crossfit-part-i/) (https://wodstar.com/articles/overcoming-depression-with-crossfit-part-ii/) as some credentials for why I am big on the mental aspects of growth and change. I didn't like to write about the darker side of me because it stirs up the emotions of that place that ran my life for many years. For two weeks I have been dealing with the same negative emotions as in the past. I wear baggy clothes, my hair is disheveled, and i pull my hat down low. The "going through" sucks but its the only way to get to where you want to be. A ship is designed to leave its safe harbor and sail into open waters. This process of growth, hardship, fork in the road, success, growth, hardship, fork in the road, success applies to every aspect of our life. How are we going to go from 2 green bands on pull-ups to a strict pull-up? How are we going to go from a on knees push up to a strict push up? How do we react when our back goes out and its dead lift day again? What are we going to do when all we want to do is Netflix but I know I should work on my flexibility?
My personality has always been one of trying to connect the dots and see the big picture. Look at one aspect of life like the 4 seasons of nature and see how it can apply to our lives. This leads to some extreme metaphors and analogies that make sense as well as some that make you roll your eyes. The journey may not be easy and you may definitely want it to stop and have someone else take over but we can't - that is not the life of meaning. "Enlightenment is man's emergence from is self-imposed immaturity. Immaturity is the inability to use one's understanding without the guidance from another." - Immanuel Kant